"Dunno," Spike admitted as he came onto the bed, dragging Nicolas into a sleeping position and dragging him in so he could hold him. Not cuddling, mind, just comforting. It wasn't poncy or anything, it was just affection. "Probably not, I know I didn't want you to go. Sat in the music room the day after you left and ... and I cried. And I didn't know why. I barely knew you really, we didn't know each other so well. I felt like someone had hit me in the gut," He sighed sadly as he settled back, keeping Nicolas close, remember all to well the pain he'd felt after Nicolas. "You were my first crush and I didn't realise until you'd gone. Or maybe I did and I was just scared. I already had enough issues without adding 'gay' to it."