Nicolas reached up to put his hand against Spike's chest, finally touching the plectrum he'd given him all those years ago without thinking much of it. Now it had kind of become a symbol of so many things, not least of all of everything he denied himself, because he hadn't wanted to replace Lestat in any way and nothing with Spike could ever be casual. But here he was now, with everything he was torn apart and destroyed, but Spike still wanted him anyway.
"William." He just whispered the name and turned his head so he could brush his lips against Spike's face. "I'll be yours then."
Spike kissed him, not even hesitating to, unable to help himself. When he was younger, he had a few dreams about this kind of thing. Only he had written an epic poem worthy of making Nicolas take his virginity but given he didn't write poetry any more and definitely didn't have his virginity, it was just nice to know he was still loved. Close enough to his fantasy anyway. He smiled as he pulled face, stroking Nicolas's cheek before he reached out to grip his shoulder.
"You look tired. Let's get to bed, shall we?" Oh, wait, that came out very wrong. "I mean to sleep, not to shag. Not tonight."
"Sleep." Nicolas smiled, wondering if he could even stand. It had seemed easy enough while playing, but things like this were always easier when playing. He licked his lips, still tasting the kiss and it was more like a dream than anything. Maybe he shouldn't have done this while being so very far from sober. "How do I know you're really here? Fuck. I'm sorry, I'm so drunk, makes me talk like I'm out of my mind." Or maybe he was so out of his mind he really needed to get drunk.
He helped to pull Nicolas upright, steadying him against himself with a slight shake of his head. "I don't know. I suppose the best way to find out is to check if I'm still there in the morning. Which I will be, not like I'm going to leave you now." He helped to haul Nicolas into the bedroom, stumbling a little under the others weight but managing to get them both onto the soft comfort of the bed. "It's fine, I've been this drunk before. I've been bloody drunker. You should have seen me the night after they bleached my hair, I've never been so drunk."
"The night I met Lestat..." Nicolas broke off and shook his head, once more letting his hand rest on Spike's chest. He held onto the plectrum, focusing on nothing but the feel of it on the palm of his hand, looking at nothing but Spike. "Whatever. I won't think of him. Only you matter." Even if Spike was only in his head, that was still more than he'd permit Lestat after all of this. "I'll think of what would have been if I had taken you with me. But you'd never have run with me, would you?"
"Dunno," Spike admitted as he came onto the bed, dragging Nicolas into a sleeping position and dragging him in so he could hold him. Not cuddling, mind, just comforting. It wasn't poncy or anything, it was just affection. "Probably not, I know I didn't want you to go. Sat in the music room the day after you left and ... and I cried. And I didn't know why. I barely knew you really, we didn't know each other so well. I felt like someone had hit me in the gut," He sighed sadly as he settled back, keeping Nicolas close, remember all to well the pain he'd felt after Nicolas. "You were my first crush and I didn't realise until you'd gone. Or maybe I did and I was just scared. I already had enough issues without adding 'gay' to it."
"I liked you," Nicolas admitted freely, very gladly letting Spike hold him. He hadn't been held in some time it seemed. No wonder he'd started to feel so cold. "I just didn't let anything or anyone close at the time. I just wanted to move on, you know?" Obviously he knew, because they had both moved on rather drastically, even if it had taken William, Spike a few more years. "I cried after the first night we played together. When I came home and I realized I want you more than anything."
"I know. I did too. Well, I whined at Dru, that's about as pathetic," Spike joked as he lay back, holding Nicolas so he was basically against his chest, gently rubbing his back in what he hoped was a reassuring way. He just wanted Nicolas to feel better. "I know you never fancied me when I was, you know, the old me. I don't blame you, much better looking now. Like I said earlier, handsome. Proud of that too, put a lot of work into it. It's okay that you didn't have a school boy crush like I did. At least you have feelings for me now. More than I could have wished for once."
"You were cute. I'm much better with assholes. Clearly." Nicolas didn't mention that he still thought Spike was cute. Very cute. No need to threaten his ego. Spike was definitely very hot, as he'd told him after they'd played for the first time. Hot in a way that got under his skin and made him want him so much that there was part of him left untouched, even with Lestat seemingly doing all he could to ruin him. "Maybe we shouldn't ever touch each other. Unresolved tension seems to work well for us."
"Cute? Fuck off. I'm not cute. I'm a bloody great bastard of a bloke, I don't do cute," he did once, maybe, when he would follow his admirers around like a puppy. Hell, Nicolas was nice to him once in the music room and he proceeded to wait for him every single day just to see him. Even on days when he had a free period and could have gone home an hour ago, he still sat and waited so he could at the very least say hello. He would do anything for the people he loved, even make a fool out of himself. "I don't know, I think touching could be fun," there was a slight pause. "When you're sober, of course."
"When I'm sober, right. You're such a gentleman." Nicolas laughed, because the situation was just absurd enough to amuse him. He shook his head and smirked at Spike. "Is Drusilla going to stop whispering your fantasies into my ears now? Because I actually thought that was very inspiring. Distracting sometimes." Like when she did it during a song. That could lead to him missing a beat or two while his mind played out whatever Drusilla hinted at. "Who's the one with that dirty mind, you or her?"
"I just don't like the odds of waking up the next morning and being accused of being a 'rapey weirdo'," Which had, unfortunately, happened with Xander after a few too many drinks and one hell of a sleep over. At least he could say that he'd officially fucked all of his band but he rather wished Xander was considerably less closeted about the experience. Personally, it had been fun. Not amazing, just fun. "Oh it's Dru, definitely Dru. I told her I fancied you and she wanted to make you come be with us. She has no concept of monogamy, she assumes if I have you, we all have you. Angel's rules were always that we share everything but they can go fuck their bloody rules, I'm not sharing you."
"That sounds like something I'd say," Nicolas observed dryly, "What, Xander's in denial?" That really wasn't surprising, all things considered, even if Xander had once spent the better part of an hour going on about Spike's muscles. While grabbing Nicolas's arm and every now and again his chest for comparison. There was a deep closet to tread through there.
"Yeah? Shame, here I was hoping to get down with Angel." Hardly his type, but making fun of Spike was entertaining enough, so he might as well. He rather preferred the idea of not being shared. Just because he'd essentially, in so many words, given himself to Spike, didn't mean that he was free for all. "Dru has some nice fantasies though, I'll say that much."
"Oh you have no idea. We won't even sleep over now, has to protect his hetero badge. Even a threesome with me and Dru doesn't sway him," Then again, Dru did threaten to take his eyes so maybe that was more the issue. Whenever she said something was pretty, she just had to have it. Apparently Xander was so pretty, they should have locked him in the house like they did with William.
"God, don't say that. He might somehow detect you may fancy him and that's it, you'll be fucking him by the end of the week," That was how it always went. Spike had said once, just once, that he thought Angel looked kind of cool. Next thing he knew, they were having some seriously aggressive sex while Dru watched TV in the other room. "Oh she does, she has a very dirty mind. I always wonder what she was like before Angelus came into her life and ruined her. Bet she was still a funny thing."
"Mostly I think Dru kind of terrifies him, but the hetero badge would be difficult to keep safe around you too." Xander liked Dru, sure, liked to take care of her and was rather protective of her, but she would say things that clearly made him want to run for the hills. Nicolas almost felt sorry for him ending up with this bunch of very strange people, because he didn't fit it as neatly as he did.
"Don't you worry. If I could resist touching you for this long, I don't think Angel's about to make me crack." Not really his type. Not that he knew what his type was. Right now it seemed to consist of someone who could look at him the way Spike was looking at him. Someone who didn't have to turn away to hide the horror in his eyes. Right now his bar might be a little low. But Spike was special. More than. "Probably was. Hard to imagine, isn't it? I mean, I'm sorry it happened to her, but I have no idea what she'd be like if she wasn't the way she is. And told me all about how you like to be tied to the bed for hours. Did you know?"
He really didn't. But they needed a drummer and he was quite literally there before a gig, wrong place, wrong time and accidentally babbling about his drumming history. Five minutes later he was dragged on stage and threatened to have his kneecaps removed if he didn't play flawlessly. And given he still had his kneecaps, clearly he wasn't that bad. "He's an all right kid, you know? Big goofy. But he sticks with us and that's more than we can usually ask for."
They tended to scare the normal people off. At the mention of what Dru said, Spike's eyes widened a fraction and he swiftly looked off elsewhere, trying to seem more cool and less embarrassed about it. "Eh, what of it? She's good at what she does and she likes me certain ways." He was just glad that he was being handcuffs for pleasure and not to prevent him running away any more. He once threatened to quit the band and got handcuffed to the shower rail for two days, considerably less sexy. "Of course she told you that. She shares our kinks with everyone, can't bloody stop her."
"She said she'd do it for me. Tie you up and blindfold you and then I could have you without you knowing. Seemed a bit iffy consent-wise, but a nice image nonetheless." Nicolas really wished that maybe he'd drunk a little less, because right now even as he did touch Spike, he could hardly focus on it, could hardly make it feel real. He'd have to wait for the morning. Maybe he'd still be there. "You should share your kinks with me."
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Date: 2015-10-04 11:11 pm (UTC)"William." He just whispered the name and turned his head so he could brush his lips against Spike's face. "I'll be yours then."
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Date: 2015-10-04 11:16 pm (UTC)"You look tired. Let's get to bed, shall we?" Oh, wait, that came out very wrong. "I mean to sleep, not to shag. Not tonight."
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Date: 2015-10-04 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 11:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 11:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2015-10-05 12:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-05 10:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-05 10:14 am (UTC)"Yeah? Shame, here I was hoping to get down with Angel." Hardly his type, but making fun of Spike was entertaining enough, so he might as well. He rather preferred the idea of not being shared. Just because he'd essentially, in so many words, given himself to Spike, didn't mean that he was free for all. "Dru has some nice fantasies though, I'll say that much."
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Date: 2015-10-05 10:24 am (UTC)"God, don't say that. He might somehow detect you may fancy him and that's it, you'll be fucking him by the end of the week," That was how it always went. Spike had said once, just once, that he thought Angel looked kind of cool. Next thing he knew, they were having some seriously aggressive sex while Dru watched TV in the other room. "Oh she does, she has a very dirty mind. I always wonder what she was like before Angelus came into her life and ruined her. Bet she was still a funny thing."
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Date: 2015-10-05 10:33 am (UTC)"Don't you worry. If I could resist touching you for this long, I don't think Angel's about to make me crack." Not really his type. Not that he knew what his type was. Right now it seemed to consist of someone who could look at him the way Spike was looking at him. Someone who didn't have to turn away to hide the horror in his eyes. Right now his bar might be a little low. But Spike was special. More than. "Probably was. Hard to imagine, isn't it? I mean, I'm sorry it happened to her, but I have no idea what she'd be like if she wasn't the way she is. And told me all about how you like to be tied to the bed for hours. Did you know?"
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Date: 2015-10-05 10:42 am (UTC)They tended to scare the normal people off. At the mention of what Dru said, Spike's eyes widened a fraction and he swiftly looked off elsewhere, trying to seem more cool and less embarrassed about it. "Eh, what of it? She's good at what she does and she likes me certain ways." He was just glad that he was being handcuffs for pleasure and not to prevent him running away any more. He once threatened to quit the band and got handcuffed to the shower rail for two days, considerably less sexy. "Of course she told you that. She shares our kinks with everyone, can't bloody stop her."
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Date: 2015-10-05 11:23 am (UTC)