Family Matters

[divineviolinist]

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[knowsit]

So

Vampires?

[divineviolinist]

To say the least.

Get your 'sucks' and 'bites' jokes in now.

[knowsit]

And Buffy slays them?

Like some sort of bloody super hero?

[divineviolinist]

She does. She is, yes. Just missing a cape. She's very impressive. Best I've seen.

[knowsit]

Right. Shit. Okay.

So why didn't anyone bloody well tell me? I nearly died.

[divineviolinist]

Because the goal is to protect normal people from it all. Keep them safe and ignorant.

My boyfriend was taken by a vampire, back in Paris. That's when I found out.

[knowsit]

Oh, right.

So you are gay? ... And I assume single. I mean yeah, tragically single but still.

[divineviolinist]

Yeah, I am. On both counts.

I don't have much time for a social life and not everyone can find hot vampires with a soul like your sister can.

[knowsit]

...Angel is a vampire?

Fuck, I let him in the house once with me and Dawn! Fuck sake, you could have said. I just thought he was really pale. And gay.

[divineviolinist]

Angel isn't like other vampires. But he's not gay, no.

He has a soul. Vampires don't. Demons don't. Angel doesn't kill innocents, he's better than most people are.

Trust me. I tried to kill him first time I found out and I'd have done it, if I hadn't noticed how he tried not to kill me.

[knowsit]

So Angel is a good vampire? Christ, what a load of bollocks.

Isn't Buffy meant to kill them regardless? And instead she's shagging one. Sounds about bloody right. And for the record, Nicki, mate, don't call her my sister again.

Her mom is shagging my uncle, that doesn't mean sod all.

[divineviolinist]

It's not something that happens a lot. Took some getting used to, but Angel is the real deal. And he's good to have by your side in a fight.

I won't. But Buffy is meant to protect the innocent and vanquish evil. She's good at it. Very good.

[knowsit]

He's a poncy little prick who I want to punch and he keeps breaking into the house and leaving the windows open.

Great, good to know, glad no one bothered to tell me. Not even my sodding uncle who's apparently her watching or something stupid like that.

[divineviolinist]

You probably shouldn't punch him. Might hurt your hand.

Speaking of, you're not hurt, are you? Things were so busy, I didn't get to check properly.

[knowsit]

I got a good punch, I'll have you know.

And nah, some scratches, no big deal. I didn't drown or anything like Buffy did so I guess I got off lightly.

[divineviolinist]

It must be a shock though. All of it. I remember my first night, when I found out.

And the night I was kidnapped by vampires.

[knowsit]

I'm still sure it's not real but I'll sleep on it and tell you if I still buy it tomorrow or not.

Mate, are you sure you're not just taking your origin story from a vampire film? I'm sure I've heard this one before.

[divineviolinist]

Maybe it would have been better if you had gotten hurt. That's how I knew it happened.

I'll show you the scars, if you want to. Then you can believe it too.

[knowsit]

Well, I got bit but it's nothing much. Weird blokes bite people all the time, I bet.

But you can show me, yeah. I'm curious.

[divineviolinist]

Did you show the bite to your uncle? You should probably clean it with holy water, just in case.

Some of them maybe. No need to strip down completely.

[knowsit]

Nah, I didn't want him to freak out. Plus that would require I get up and talk to him and I'm just not feeling that tonight.

Really? Because I don't think I'd get the full feel of your injuries without seeing it all.

[divineviolinist]

Please do it. Not the sort of thing you want to risk. It would be harmless normally, but this wasn't just any vampire that had you.

Seems like you're feeling better. No other questions?

[knowsit]

Can you turn from a bite on the shoulder? Because they didn't really go for my neck. Just 'wanted to taste' apparently.

Not just now, I'm sure plenty will come to me when I try and fail to sleep tonight.

[divineviolinist]

You can't, but some vampires can use if to control you to some degree. Most can't, but it's a risk. I always burn the bites out with holy water just in case.

I don't sleep much, you can text me if you can't sleep. But now you know why we all hang in the library so much.

[knowsit]

I'll go nab a bottle from Rupert then, I know where he keeps it. Up until today, I just thought he was weirdly religious.

Yeah, I thought that was bloody weird but I never cared enough to question it. Nerds frequent nerdy places, it's how it goes.