Golden Moment
Sep. 16th, 2015 12:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
divineviolinistWhat made him realize that he wasn't gone any longer was Lestat's voice and how perfectly fitting, how perfectly infuriating?
Nicolas was burnt, he had burned. But his ashes had never been scattered and sometimes all it took for their kind to heal was time and all it took for him to wake was Lestat. He didn't rise right away. It took days, weeks, and he was weak. All he could think of was the hunger. It wasn't until after he had drained his third victim that he started to stare at his hands. They were there, they were whole. Not broken as his father threatened. Not cut off as Armand had done.
They had been returned to him before the pyre. Then the pyre and then nothing. Where was Armand now? Where was anyone in his Theatre de Vampires? There were no answers to be found and he was fine with being alone. He was growing stronger now and even in his ashen sleep, his senses had grown more powerful. He heard the great city above him, he learned of changes. He heard of Lestat.
One night he bought the books. He read them cover to cover without pause, with the speed of his kind. Interview he threw into the Seine, where it could drown like Louis drowned in self-pity, and The Vampire Lestat he weighed in his hands, he read the same pages again and again and then he tore it into tiny pieces and that seemed equally fitting.
He was dead to Lestat, but Lestat was alive everywhere. The world buzzed with his name, attention and adoration was him certain everywhere, but what else was new? The first time he saw the videos, Nicolas could only stare when the actress who portrayed the Queen of the Damned stomped down on the model of the violin that had been his. His family was long gone, his mortal friends all perished, but it was the violin he mourned.
To escape Lestat, he bought a walkman and then he started his journey. He flew to America and he wasn't even certain why. Once there he started driving, usually taking the cars or motorcycles from his victims, and he only stopped to feed and to change tapes and batteries on his walkman.
He always wore gloves now, because the sight of his hands disturbed him. His skin was still bronzed from being burnt, but that only made blending in easier when he stayed at one of the road stops with their fluorescent neon tubes. No one ever took much notice until he took their blood.
Kill only the evildoer, that was the rule Lestat so clung to. Nicolas believed in good and evil even less than he ever had before. But still Lestat was on his mind. When would he ever not be? Like poison that just wouldn't kill.
When he saw Lestat it was in one of the American cities that seemed so interchangeable with all the rest. It was Lestat all right, with his flashy clothes and flamboyant demeanour, pulling along his mortal band mates into the hotel.
Nicolas was far from flashy, wearing the worn black leather jacket he had gotten from one of his first victims and simple dark jeans. He leaned in the corner and he almost ran. But then it felt as if his eyes met Lestat's and he couldn't bring himself to move.
Nicolas was burnt, he had burned. But his ashes had never been scattered and sometimes all it took for their kind to heal was time and all it took for him to wake was Lestat. He didn't rise right away. It took days, weeks, and he was weak. All he could think of was the hunger. It wasn't until after he had drained his third victim that he started to stare at his hands. They were there, they were whole. Not broken as his father threatened. Not cut off as Armand had done.
They had been returned to him before the pyre. Then the pyre and then nothing. Where was Armand now? Where was anyone in his Theatre de Vampires? There were no answers to be found and he was fine with being alone. He was growing stronger now and even in his ashen sleep, his senses had grown more powerful. He heard the great city above him, he learned of changes. He heard of Lestat.
One night he bought the books. He read them cover to cover without pause, with the speed of his kind. Interview he threw into the Seine, where it could drown like Louis drowned in self-pity, and The Vampire Lestat he weighed in his hands, he read the same pages again and again and then he tore it into tiny pieces and that seemed equally fitting.
He was dead to Lestat, but Lestat was alive everywhere. The world buzzed with his name, attention and adoration was him certain everywhere, but what else was new? The first time he saw the videos, Nicolas could only stare when the actress who portrayed the Queen of the Damned stomped down on the model of the violin that had been his. His family was long gone, his mortal friends all perished, but it was the violin he mourned.
To escape Lestat, he bought a walkman and then he started his journey. He flew to America and he wasn't even certain why. Once there he started driving, usually taking the cars or motorcycles from his victims, and he only stopped to feed and to change tapes and batteries on his walkman.
He always wore gloves now, because the sight of his hands disturbed him. His skin was still bronzed from being burnt, but that only made blending in easier when he stayed at one of the road stops with their fluorescent neon tubes. No one ever took much notice until he took their blood.
Kill only the evildoer, that was the rule Lestat so clung to. Nicolas believed in good and evil even less than he ever had before. But still Lestat was on his mind. When would he ever not be? Like poison that just wouldn't kill.
When he saw Lestat it was in one of the American cities that seemed so interchangeable with all the rest. It was Lestat all right, with his flashy clothes and flamboyant demeanour, pulling along his mortal band mates into the hotel.
Nicolas was far from flashy, wearing the worn black leather jacket he had gotten from one of his first victims and simple dark jeans. He leaned in the corner and he almost ran. But then it felt as if his eyes met Lestat's and he couldn't bring himself to move.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 11:09 pm (UTC)Life was good.
Of course, he missed Louis, he missed all of those he lost, namely Nicolas. Pulling the door open, only waiting long enough for Tough Cookie to pass through the threshold of the hotel before following leaving Alex and Larry to handle the door themselves. Old habits die hard after all.
He could tell someone else was around, but it had been so long he didn't feel his own blood calling to him. He walked inside, expecting no one was brave enough to attack right out in the open with him surrounded by mortals. So, on he went up to a suite on the top floor. He excused himself from his bandmates, making his way into his private room, it was a nice night, so he left the windows open once inside, a little full of himself but, that was nothing new.
Throwing himself on the couch, he lifted a stack of letters waiting for him, just shuffling through them as he toed his boots off.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 11:19 pm (UTC)Still, he waited by the window. Waited for what? Some sign, something that would make this easier? Nothing in the world could have done that.
In the end it wasn't even a decision. Nicolas simply rushed in through the window, Lestat's dark shadow upon him just a moment later. He had no plan, he had no method. He was just clawing at his clothes, his skin, his face, anything he could grasp with his gloved fingers. But his teeth, they knew what they were doing. They found Lestat's throat and they didn't let go.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 11:36 pm (UTC)When the teeth got his throat, it didn't last more than a few seconds before Lestat's hands clamped down on the other vampires shoulders and flung him backwards, even if it tore his own throat in the process, he knew it wouldn't kill him it would heal right up. The dresser near where he threw Nicolas there was a violin sitting there, open just on display.
"Just WHO do you think you are!" He roared before his eyes really settled on him, the wind in his sails starting to deflate...no, it wasn't possible.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 11:41 pm (UTC)It was so much easier than crying.
Once more there wasn't much of a warning. One second he was on the ground, the next he threw himself at Lestat again. He had no goal, he didn't think he could achieve anything here, but staying away from him for a second longer was too much to bear and he couldn't do anything but attack. His hands might have forgotten how to do anything else.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 11:50 pm (UTC)"No... no." He muttered almost like his mind overloading, how cruel the fates were. This time he didn't fight, he let Nicolas take him down. His hands shooting up once they hit the floor, crashing the poor coffee table in the process. At least the mess could be explained as rock star treatment. He didn't even think about his pets... Band coming to check on the noise. His hands clutching Nicolas' face. "Look at me, tell me it's you. Tell em you're really here and not some trick done to destroy me."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 11:56 pm (UTC)"You did that trick yourself, so you'd really only have yourself to blame. Which suits you fine. Not a stretch out of self-involvement." His smile was there, even if it reached his eyes about the same it always did when it was like that, sardonic and cruel like his humour was. Lestat hadn't changed in all those years, why would Nicolas have?
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 12:06 am (UTC)"You have no idea the time that has passed, Nicki." He spoke trying to keep his emotions in check. For the first time since fame cloaked him he felt alone again. Like he was back in that old house hiding from the beautiful world... the shame Louis told the world.
He couldn't help but let a smile finally slip across his face. That sardonic humor, so dry but so sarcastic. It was really him. "How, how did you come back? How did you find me no less?"
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 12:13 am (UTC)Burning him in the same way, but what was burning to him, who had been ash? What was pain other than a sign of being alive? He was laughing again, quietly under his breath. And just like a switch being flipped, he stopped. He let himself fall down on top of Lestat, useless hands burying in his hair and for the first time he wished he wasn't wearing the gloves, because years might have passed and he might have died, but he could still recall how Lestat's hair felt between his fingers.
"Bleed for me." It was a demand, not a question, followed by another vicious whisper, just before he sunk his teeth into his skin. "I hate you."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 12:24 am (UTC)He said nothing, and despite what a bad idea he felt it was, he reached up, flicking his thumb nail across the exposed skin of his chest. "Not to much." He spoke, his tone warning but with no fire. For him to think something was a bad idea... really makes it a bad idea, but if he owed anyone in this savage garden, it was the man laid above him.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 12:36 am (UTC)"Fuck, Lestat, you shameless slut." It was an insult, sure enough, but Nicolas sounded too amused for it to sting the way he might sling similar words in a different mood. His moods could change like mercury, but right now he simply shook his head, not holding back with the crudeness of his language. "I wouldn't even bother remembering the names of as many people as you think you love. But what do you love him for? I've read his book. Louis's book. The one who is so very much like me." The dryness of his tone made obvious what he made of that assessment.
"You stayed with him so long and that is what he thinks of you? After I was gone and Gabrielle left you, was it just easier to fall for people that didn't know you at all?" He hummed, then licked his lips in a quick movement, his smile as sharp as his judgement. Meant to cut. "Telling, isn't it?"
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 12:55 am (UTC)"You would have me no other way." He replied, just as prideful as ever. Part of him almost told Nicolas not to judge him, but, he didn't. He couldn't he was right. "Who else knew me so well? You do not know Louis, do not judge him off that writing of his. He is better to meet in person, Nicki." He spoke in a fond tone, even though he knew what a train wreak that would be.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 01:06 am (UTC)"I'd assume he's better in person. Easier to shut up." His anger simmered under the surface, easy to control with just a few quips for the moment. There was so much more rage to be found.
But instead of lashing out again, with words or actions, Nicolas simply sat up. He looked at him with what arrogance he could muster, which was still considerable. "I heard your music, rock star. You're no musician. No wonder the Queen smashed my violin."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 01:26 am (UTC)"You would think so, but look around us. So much my voice can bring. They love me, and all I stand for, Nicki, I may not have your skill, but I have the world in my hands." He spoke, still laying on the ground looking up at him. Oh, if Gabrielle could see them now.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 01:36 am (UTC)He shook his head and rolled his eyes, two gestures that came easily with Lestat right there. "Not that it matters. You'll lose interest. But you've gotten the attention of them all. All you care about is to make enough of a fool of yourself to provoke everyone. The old ones and the young ones. Everyone whispers about what your end goal might be. What the big plan is. They really don't know you."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 01:51 am (UTC)"Let them come, see if I care. I will not be stopped so easily." He spoke as prideful as ever, moving an arm behind himself to sprawl with a bit more ease.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 01:57 am (UTC)"You won't be stopped. It will be chaos and you'll regret it a little and be proud of yourself." One didn't have to see the future to predict this much. "I should have stayed dead. I don't think there's any other way I can hit you and even that you moved on from quickly enough."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 06:43 pm (UTC)"I would regret it more if you hadn't found a way back." He hoped that darkness had worked its way out of Nicolas, he missed his friend the years gone by made him recognize that. "I have a gift for you." He spoke with all the charm he could muster on the spur of the moment.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 06:59 pm (UTC)Nicolas smiled, sharp and without joy. "I don't think there's any greater gift in the world than reading again and again just how awful my mind made you feel."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 07:32 pm (UTC)"Nicki..." He, for the first time in awhile, was at a loss for words.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 07:48 pm (UTC)He let out a short, sharp laugh and then leapt to his feet, clearly not done yet. Even with an audience of one, he could still perform. "Quiet, and the realization, which I could not bring myself to confess to her, the realization gnawing at my insides like a starved animal - that I couldn't stand the sight of him now."
Nicolas clapped his hands, which should be gone, and he knelt down at Lestat's side, looking at him, madness not well hidden. "What else could you give me that would warm my heart as much?"
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 10:03 pm (UTC)Hearing his own words thrown back at him in perfect fashion, he finally pushed up and to his feet after Nicolas got off him. He said nothing. What could he say? That fact had not changed, Nicolas would never be the man he had once loved so much. His dear friend would never be what once was, what he helped destroy. He walked to the dresser snapping the violin case shut and all but threw it at Nicolas.
"It's the only thing you could ever care about." He snapped at him in the curest tone he could give. Having his own words thrown back at him stung and he didn't care for it.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 10:16 pm (UTC)"Will I have to wait for the sequel or do you dare to tell me how horrid I am to my face?"
no subject
Date: 2015-09-16 11:55 pm (UTC)Looking back to him, he crossed his arms. "I do not plan to write anymore, Nicki... My dear Nicki, it is true, you frighten me with that darkness of yours." He looked at him with those fierce blue eyes. "Even now I mourn the loss of what was, The man before me, the man who went into the Pyre... Neither are my beloved Nicki. You are a ghost. A shadow of a beautiful soul."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-17 12:11 am (UTC)"What do you think, that my soul turned ugly and repulsive from a night at Les Innocents and from the Dark Trick alone? If I hadn't met you, if Our Conversation had never begun and I'd never wanted to be impossible with you, I'd have died just as I am. As I was when I was alive. Ugly, alone. There's never been anything you'd think beautiful to my soul, Lestat, if you couldn't see it there when you turned me."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-17 12:32 am (UTC)"...That is not true. You shined, Nicki, you shined like no one else before Armand got his hands on you." Blame Armand, thats worked well for ages.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-17 12:44 am (UTC)Nicolas smiled a little and it was less crazed this time, just bitter. "I might have shaped you, Lestat, as any first is wont to do, but if you want to believe that, you'll just have to accept that I was dark when I met you and still dark when you recoiled from me. It's my first memory as a vampire. Knowing that I'd lost you, because you learned what I am."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-17 02:12 am (UTC)He looked up to Nicolas finally. The damage he caused, the damage already there. He needed to put real thought into this. Not charge head first into it. "And I can not take away that pain Nicolas, but I can offer another try. We have both changed, I would think."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-17 02:29 am (UTC)"I wasn't made for you and you're not made for me." Strange to be the one speaking reason and it didn't quite sit right with him, so he found himself laughing. "You'll never know how much I wanted to be. But it's not me you're waiting for, with this rock star act and the book you wrote."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 04:09 pm (UTC)"Since when have we ever listened to reason and followed the right path? We threw that away the night we ran." He spoke softly, what was this? The slightest bit of red rimming those forever blue eyes.
"..." He looked away, letting his hand fall from Nicolas' jaw, he knew Nicki knew. "I did give my heart to another, but, much like everyone else I have handed it to, it is unwanted. Dropped aside again. How could you ever want something as terrible as I, when It is my fault you are this way?"
no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 04:23 pm (UTC)He barely had memory of it. It seemed as if love wasn't anything but something he kept around to hurt himself with. Looking at Lestat he just shrugged his shoulders. What to say? What to do? "I'm a masochist."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 04:46 pm (UTC)"You and Louis are kindred spirits." He spoke, wiping a hand under his eyes staining his hand with crimson. "He would have left much sooner had it not been for my cheating and bring Claudia into the picture." He spoke, finally looking back to Nicholas, and lifted his hand again holding it out to Nicolas.
"Just stay with me awhile longer, Nicki. We can quarrel later. For now, just sit with me and speak to your hearts desires."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 05:05 pm (UTC)He closed his eyes, taking the feeling of Nicolas' hands in his hair. "Take off the gloves." he voiced low, keeping the one hand in Nicolas' hair, his other moving out, around his waist as if fearful Nicki would run, leave him alone in the Savage Garden again.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 05:14 pm (UTC)"Forget my hands."
no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 05:22 pm (UTC)"Why?" Three simple letters but a world of questions inside of it. He kept his hands firmly in place. No longer in a means of seduction, but as a means to keep him. Fearful Nicki might run otherwise, and with reason he doesn't yet understand.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 05:56 pm (UTC)But for now he could kiss him, so he did.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-21 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-22 11:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-22 05:31 pm (UTC)"Take it, I want you to take it, even if you dont. Pawn it if you wish just take it with you." He spoke running a hand through the others hair.